Friday, July 22, 2011

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to

Somehow, between my last post and this one, Ben turned one. And started walking. And talking! It's really, really amazing how much a kid can change—from a baby to a little person—in the span of one year.

Happy first birthday to my beautiful boy. I love you more than words can express.

Likes = food, food, food, food (he weighs 29 lbs.!), balloons ("ball"), baseballs, basketballs, footballs, hockey pucks, holding the plastic bat and swatting at the ball, trying to wrangle toys away from Adam, cats, dogs, birds, go-go-going all the time, giving open-mouthed kisses (not always on command), the remote, his blue blanket, his bottle ("baba"), staring at cute girls, testing his voice by screaming, playing in the sand, climbing the steps when he knows he's not supposed to, making a mess with the water table, pushing the toy lawnmower, waking up with a smile on his face every single morning, singing songs in the car, eating toilet paper (hey! just like that one girl on "Strange Addictions!"), saying "NO!", wearing hats and sunglasses, taking off his diaper, laughing at anyone who makes funny faces or funny noises or tickles him or squeezes him or kisses that one spot under his chin.

Dislikes = green beans, reading books (he tries to rip the book out of your hands), sitting still, snuggling, letting Adam do a puzzle/put together Legos/play ball with Aaron/sit on my lap without being involved in some way (ah yes, the sibling rivalry has already started), getting his hair cut, and being contained (let's just say it's never fun putting him in his carseat).

What a year it has been.

I had an emotionally draining and physically uncomfortable pregnancy that felt like it would NEVER end, delivered a gorgeous, healthy 9 lb. 7 oz. baby without an epidural, suffered from diastasis recti, or abdominal separation, post-partum, where my stomach muscles spread apart, making it painful to sit after having Ben ((according to, "separation can occur anytime in the last half of pregnancy but is most problematic after pregnancy when the abdominal wall is weak and does not provide adequate support for the torso and internal organs" - and is sometimes caused by having a large baby), was diagnosed with the unbearably itchy post-pregnancy rash PUPPP, had a hard time breathing for at least a week because my organs were all floating back down to where they belonged after giant Ben shoved them all out of place, and—on top of all that was recovering from an episiotomy. Fun. Add to that the job of breastfeeding a baby who wanted to eat every two hours and man oh man. Those first few weeks were ROUGH. And then I got into a groove and totally enjoyed my maternity leave. I appreciated my time off with Ben more than I ever did with Adam — we visited friends and went shopping and sat outside and went to the beach and made the most of our summer off. I felt like we really bonded.
And then it was back to work and pumping twice a day (I nursed Ben for a year) and trying to remember all of those moments that seem so insignificant but really weave the fabric of our lives.
That year went by fast.
And as much as I loved the mobile newborn stage (they smell so good, don't they?!), I also love how Ben is communicating and so curious and strong-willed and opinionated already. I can't wait to see what his future holds.