Wednesday, December 10, 2008

… Because we spend more time at work than with our loved ones

I have been in the “real world” for a few years now (it’s been 12 years now since I graduated from college) and in that time I have developed some workplace pet peeves. One of my biggest complaints is the Walking Dead who come to work hacking, sniffling, and groaning about how sick they are. Really? You feel sick? Then USE ONE OF YOUR SICK DAYS AND STAY HOME. I’d understand if we didn’t have sick days to burn, but we do! News flash to anyone who thinks they HAVE to come to work when they feel like crap because they just have SO much to do: you are not so important that the office can’t function without you for a day or two.

Other annoyances:

• When people sign emails with “Best.” Have we become so lazy that we can’t write two more words and sign off with “All the best” or “All my best?”

• Anyone who doesn’t wash their hands after using the bathroom. What is wrong with you? Were you raised in a barn?

• Clients who lie about not receiving emails or voicemails.

• Cheap-skates who don’t donate to baby shower gifts but still have the nerve to sign the card and show up at the shower.

• When I can hear two coworkers on the phone IN A CALL TO EACH OTHER. Sort of defeats the purpose of the phone, doesn’t it? Either shoot her an email or get off your ass and walk over to her desk so we don’t all have to listen to your conversation.

• Speaking of Loud Talkers, there is one in my office—who has a wonderful, spunky, charming personality—but talks so loud that I can’t concentrate or think sometimes (and I know it’s not just me).

• If you don’t know how to do something, ask. Don’t pretend that you know if you don't. It will irritate the rest of your competent workers when you/we have to re-do everything at the last minute because it’s all wrong.

• When pregnant coworkers say, “Baby’s hungry” in order to justify whatever it is they’re eating. No, YOU are hungry, and that’s fine. Just eat the damn cheesecake already.

• When The Food Police feel it’s necessary to tell you what’s in your breakfast/processed meal/can of Coke and how bad it is for you. (Sometimes I don’t want to think about the nutritional value, I just want to enjoy the taste!)

• Chronic whiners. If your job sucks so much, maybe you should quit!

• The very annoying and very persistent “I sell home products in my free time and I will keep asking you if you want to buy some over-priced item until I wear you down” Consultant. How many times do I have to tell my coworker that no, I do NOT want to buy a candle (and no, I really don’t want to host a party), before she gets the hint?

• Malicious gossip. “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss other people.”

• We have two functioning dishwashers in the kitchen. If one is overflowing with dirty dishes, add detergent and start it rather than leave your dirty dishes in the sink. If the other one is full of clean dishes, put those away and put your dirty dishes in there. It’s not that hard.

• Anyone who has a superiority complex. Get off your high horse. We all put our pants on one leg at a time.

How about you? What are your office pet peeves?