Christmas 2013

I sat down to blog a few nights ago and just couldn't find the words, which is rare for me. Blogging sometimes feels a little bit like posting status updates on Facebook, when you want to share what you're doing — either to remember it yourself or because there are people genuinely interested, but don't want it to seem like you're painting too perfect a picture, because we all know life isn't perfect, (case in point: hardly anyone actually enjoys getting those braggy Christmas letters (do they?)), but on the flip side, who wants to dwell on all the negativity when there's enough of that out there in the world? As Aaron would say, you just try to keep it real.

My last day at work in 2013 was December 20. That Friday feels like a lifetime ago. Thankfully I've been checking my work email from home or I probably would have forgotten my password. (How many junior high and high school kids will forget their locker combos tomorrow?). It's amazing how quickly we adapt to new routines, and how wonderful it is not to have to set an alarm. It seemed like the perfect amount of time to be off. 

We had friends over December 20 for a little last-minute holiday party. Aaron bought fancy cheese and crackers, Kelly brought home-made Polish vodka and her roommate Jill, Jeremy brought a giant suitcase filled with shorts, t-shirts, sunblock and flip flops (Aaron brought him to the airport at 4 a.m. -- he was headed to Arizona, to spend Christmas with his parents), Kyle and Rachel brought beef stew in the crockpot and the "official" announcement that she's expecting a little one this July (so excited for them!), and Russ and Katie brought Christmas cookies and gifts for the boys (so generous and thoughtful). We drank, talked, laughed, ate, attempted to play Trivial Pursuit (I hate that game. I always wind up feeling incredibly stupid), then gave up and played Scattergories instead. I knew I was tipsy when I started making up answers. Ben fell asleep on the couch at 10:30 and Adam hung in until nearly midnight. It was a really fun night.

On Saturday evening, we joined Aaron's extended family in braving the cold and the crowds downtown Minneapolis for the last Holidazzle ever. There were 13 of us in our group (Josh was doing work down in Florida (Becky still went), Kayla was at her dad's, and Morgan and Jake just didn't want to deal with the cold), five little kids and eight big ones (age 29+). Parking was a total nightmare, some of the spectators were kind of grinchy after being jostled around in the crowd, and it was very, very cold, but the kids loved it, so that made it worthwhile.

My father-in-law was extremely easy to spot in the crowd. (Warm, too!)

We had dinner at the 8th Street Grill, then checked out the tree inside Crystal Court.

 

On Sunday night we celebrated my "little" brother Nick's 30th birthday at Applebee's with my parents and Nick's girlfriend Ashley (how is he 30?!), then drove over to a cluster of homes on the East Side that had synchronized holiday songs and lights. Adam didn't like it (he said he felt dizzy trying to look at all the flashing lights) and Ben was freaked out by the lifelike Santa that kept peeking out the window. Aaron and I loved it.

On Monday, Day One of Family Vacation Togetherness (the kids were home from December 23 to January 1), I felt the onset of Stir Craziness creeping in right after lunch (two energetic boys cooped up in a small space = fights, fights, fights). I was very crabby. Aaron's last day at work in 2013 was that Monday and he had to work late, so I was "ridin' solo," which didn't help. I think the temp was 4 below and, out of desperation, I bundled up the boys and we walked to the park. Yes, the park. In below zero weather. The fresh air helped me reclaim my sanity. And for once, we had the park to ourselves (shocking that no one else would be enjoying the beautiful winter day, HA HA). Everything was dangerously icy and slippery, but the slides were AMAZING. It was fun to watch the boys shoot out onto the snow below. I even went down once (or three times).

On Monday, after Aaron got home, we packed up and headed to Forest Lake for the night, our home away from home. We figured we'd make the most of Christmas Eve if we stayed over and spent the whole day there, sledding and then celebrating with my side of the family. It was a good plan, even though Mother Nature was still (cruelly) dropping below zero temps our way. My dad joined us on the hill while my mom watched from inside. I was nervous sending Ben down alone, but he couldn't get enough. He even fell off once or twice and came up laughing, white-washed and all. Adam was more cautious, and usually wanted to ride down with either Aaron or I. Ben only wanted to go down alone, leaning way back on his sled so it looked like he was competing in the luge.

And then, after an invigorating hour outside, family began arriving and we did some of this:

 And some of this (Lucy dog in a sweater! So cute!):

And this:

 And another round of this! (This time, just my brother Shawn and I took the kids out.)

My mom, dad, April, and Aaron prepared an elaborate Christmas Eve meal — linguine, shrimp, salad and bread. Tara made four different types of dessert. It was labor-intensive but delicious. My mom had a blast in the kitchen with her "helpers."

All 13 of us opened gifts around the fireplace my dad built this past summer/fall. It felt very cozy and "Christmasy."

Ben thought he was pretty cool with his very own Minnesota Wild outfit and hockey stick and puck. Adam was so excited to get more Pokemon cards that he jumped up and ran across the room to hug my mom. They received toys and clothes and money. We were overwhelmed, once again, by our family's generosity.

We got home around 9:30 (slow going on the roads Christmas Eve night), tucked the boys in bed, unpacked, and started wrapping. The adrenaline kicked in around 10:30. It's hard not to get swept up in the Santa magic when you have two little believers under your roof. This is a fun age for Christmas. When you have kids, it takes you back to when you believed. Ahh, the innocence. The magic. The North Pole, Rudolph, Mrs. Claus, all of it. I overheard Adam telling Ben that he shouldn't ask for a Power Rangers mega sword from Mom and Dad, he should ask for one from Santa, "so Mom and Dad can keep their money." I also overheard Adam telling Ben that the mall Santas weren't real, the real Santa was too busy to be "doing pictures at the mall." He has gifts to deliver. 

On Christmas morning, Aaron and I woke to both boys standing by our bed. They never both come into our room. They were grinning from ear to ear. This was one wake-up call I didn't mind. (It helped that it was after 8 a.m.) Aaron went downstairs and plugged in the tree, then came back up to retrieve everyone. Lots of tired smiles at our house that morning. Aaron and I also received heartfelt gifts from the boys, a sparkly ornament from Ben, and a gingerbread ornament from Adam. They were very proud of their creations, and they have quickly become my favorite ornaments in our collection. Thank you, preschool and kindergarten teachers, for giving the boys the opportunity to feel so grown up and important.

Ben wasn't really sure what to think of his Leap Frog, but he loved his Power Rangers Mega Sword,
Batman sweatshirt, and Ninja Turtles gear. 

Adam was so excited to get the same tennis shoes as his best friend Michael. 
Santa also brought him a Kindle. Let the gaming begin.

At around noon, we headed to Coon Rapids for Christmas with Aaron's side of the family. Patti made a great meal of ham and deep fried turkey, cheesy potatoes, green bean casserole, and salad. Amy brought the pies. (One was Candy Cane pie from Baker's Square, my favorite.) We ate, the kids played, we talked, we opened gifts (once again, such generosity from the grandparents, aunts, and godfather Josh—Batman toys, clothes, games, an art kit, a Batman backpack (!), movies, and money), and later we played Pictionary with the older cousins. Since Ben can't read, we let him "play," too. He just kept "drawing" the letters "B," "O," "A" or "H." We stayed until 10 p.m, not wanting to leave the warmth of Patti's house and deal with loading and unloading in the deep freeze. Both kids fell asleep in the car. 

Ben: "Which one should I open first?! Decisions, decisions."

Aaron's mom surrounded by her beautiful children.

Thankfully we had nothing to do on December 26. We were all pretty wiped out.

Adam counting his white coconut-flavored Jelly Bellys from Auntie Tonya. (Over 500.)

Painting birdhouses (delivered from Santa). 

On Friday we met up with friends for our annual bowling tradition. Usually we get together to see our out-of-town friends Steve (Michigan) or Robyn (Michigan), and Jesse and Colleen (California), but they didn't make it this year. Remme also couldn't make it. I was glad Aaron's brother Josh and girlfriend Becky joined us at the last minute. Thanks to Josh, poker was involved this year. I have never played before, and somehow won the second game. It was great to have a kid-free night out (my parents generously babysat), even though I'm ashamed to admit I couldn't break 100 the first game. Katie blew everyone away when she bowled a 170. 

On Saturday morning, Adam went to his first ever classmate birthday party—for his best friend Michael—at a bowling alley/arcade. (He's been to many family parties for his cousins, and parties for the kids of my close friends, but never a school friend.) He was extremely nervous about going to the party without us being there, and had a minor anxiety-induced meltdown ("I changed my mind! I don't want to go!"), but realized we weren't going to let him stay home, no matter how hard he cried or protested. Not surprisingly, he had a blast with all the kids. He hardly looked back when Aaron dropped him off, and hardly looked up when we all came to get him. He was smiling so much I'm surprised his face didn't hurt. First school birthday party = success! 

Right after Michael's party was over, we drove down to Austin, Minn. to celebrate Christmas with Aaron's extended family (all 34 of 'em). We stayed overnight at a hotel with a swimming pool (the boys were in their element. Adam loved the hot tub; Ben loved the pool) and enjoyed quality time with Jay, Pete and Max, Josh and Becky, Aaron's cousins, and his grandma, who is such an inspiration to me at age 80. She organized the party, rented space at the nature center (the family has outgrown her house), made the majority of the food, and suggested we do a white elephant gift exchange. On Sunday, everyone met at the nature center for lunch, conversation, kid-wrangling, and gifts. The most touching part of the day came when Aaron's grandma gave each of her four children, 12 granchildren, and 10 great-grandchildren bears that she made out of Aaron's grandpa's shirts. (Lowell died in 2009.) Aaron's sister Amy said, through her tears, that it was one of the most meaningful gifts she's ever received. I think the sentiment was shared by all.

On Monday afternoon I visited my friends Kirsten and Nate at their Minneapolis home. Kirsten had Baby Henrik right before Thanksgiving (what an adorable and good baby!) and I was eager to meet him and see her. When you're away from it, you forget how tiny newborns are, with their little "dolphin sounds" (Nate's words) and exaggerated movements and how the smallest fussing makes you wonder, "Is he wet? Is he hungry? Is he tired? Does he need to poop? Does he have gas?" It's such a guessing game. But man are newborns cuddly, and innocent, and so sweet. I couldn't get enough of him.
During that same mini getaway (Aaron stayed home with the boys), I did the only shopping that I did during break when I stopped briefly at Marshall's and bought a sweater. *The fact that I only went shopping once from December 20-January 1 is a huge feat.

 On New Year's Eve, the fam headed back to Forest Lake for more sledding, a toasty Tom & Jerry drink by the fire, a nice dinner (Aaron was in the kitchen once again, this time making steak and chicken fajitas), a very funny game of Scattergories and Apples II Apples, and the hopes of making it to midnight. One by one people started disappearing. First Ben fell asleep, then my grandma wandered into her room, then my mom decided to "watch TV in her room" (aka fall asleep), then Adam petered out. My dad, Aaron, and I were the last three standing (or, more accurately, sitting on the couch, trying hard to stay awake) when the ball dropped. I surprised myself and made it until 12:30 a.m.! I think this is the second year in a row I've seen midnight come on NYE. Times have changed since the days of getting dressed up to go out and party. I like this tradition better.

Making goofy faces on NYE.

My grandma was also at my parents house this weekend (my aunt Karen and mom alternate caring for her—she can no longer be left alone), and even though she spends a lot of time at my parents' house when we're there, this time it hit me just how fast she's fading. Her health has been going downhill for many years, but now I see the red flags of Alzheimer's, and it's heartbreaking. She forgets names, she doesn't know if it's morning or night, she forgets where she is, she asks about people as if they're total strangers and not long-time friends or family. I wonder if she thinks being here, being alive, is a burden rather than a blessing. I wonder if she wakes up and asks "Why?" rather than saying a silent prayer of "Thank you." She doesn't say much (she has a hard time hearing, even with her hearing aids in) but she loves watching Adam and Ben play. Maybe it helps her forget about her own aches and pains a little bit. I love to hear her laugh, and the boys have the power to get those from her. She used to be so fun. She was my grandma who owned a resort in Wisconsin. She used to take us to the beach, to the A&W for root beer floats, out fishing, out swimming past the end of the dock, to her Catholic church. She was always giggling. There's a video of her playing volleyball with her kids, circa 1970-something, and she looks so cute, so tiny as she laughed and tried to jump at the ball. She had on shorts (I hardly ever saw her in shorts) and wore a bandana around her hair, making her seem younger than she was. I wish she could feel that way now, youthful and carefree and, most importantly, happy. Now my mom has to remind her to take her medication, and help her get dressed, and bathe her, and change her, and make sure she eats nutritious meals. She walks with a walker. She has a hard time going up and down stairs. It's weird how they've reversed roles, the child as the caretaker. And yet—even though my grandma's not who she used to be, even though she has arthritis and high blood pressure and her eyes and ears are slowly failing her, even though she can't do the things she once did without help from others—she still has a sweet personality (always complimenting others), and she never misses an opportunity to thank the Lord for her family. Because, at the end of the day, whether you're 38 or 85, whether you hope to be lucky enough to have many years ahead of you or secretly hope the end is near, your family is what you're left with.

Right now, late Wednesday night—the start of a new year—my family is sleeping. The house is tiny, it's not in a great neighborhood, and the rooms are in desperate need of a serious makeover, but it's warm (it's 18 below windchill outside the window), it's got everything we need, it's home. Aaron and I both have jobs that we enjoy (usually), there is food in the fridge, and we have clothes on our backs. We have each other, we have supportive friends and family, we have fun. I hope 2014 brings more happiness, good health, a sense of peace, a sense of purpose, and a never-ending sense of gratitude to appreciate it all.