Tuesday, March 29, 2016

This is where we used to live


The big news in our lives is that we’re looking for a new (or, more accurately, new to us) house. FINALLY. FINALLY. FINALLY! **insert an obnoxious amount of exclamation points and happy music here.** After writing about realtors for the magazine this fall and finding a duo I thought could be “the ones,” we contacted them (it’s a daughter-in-law/father-in-law team), met with them, liked them, set the wheels in motion as to “What if we could sell this place? What if we could move to a different school district/family-friendly neighborhood/bigger house?” and received valuable, realistic advice about what, exactly, needed to be done to sell our house. At one point we were so upside down on our house I worried that we’d never get out. Times have changed in the real estate market, though, and our realtors gave us something we hadn’t had in YEARS. They gave us hope. 


This winter we devoted nearly every weekend to Operation Sell Our House, gave many, many, many dollars to Menards & Home Depot, and devoted many, many, many hours of labor into home improvement projects (I did some serious de-cluttering and heavy cleaning, but the repairs/improvements were all Aaron, my dad, our friend Russ, and my brother-in-law Josh, who runs his own painting company. When the job was outside of their comfort zone, our trusty, affordable handyman stepped in). Our house was ready to list one week before our goal of March 1. In 10 days we had 10 showings and one of those became an asking price offer. Say whaaaat?!
Goodbye, dear sun porch. I'm so sorry that we only ever used you as storage and not as you were intended to be used. My mom sewed all the curtains. Josh and Aaron painted.
Fingers crossed that everything goes ok. If it does, they close mid-April. 


I’m cautiously optimistic that everything will work out, but have a hard time getting too excited and probably won’t truly *celebrate [*=drink like I did at my 21st birthday] until every legal paper is signed. I’m trying not to freak myself out about what could go wrong (could the sellers financing fall through?!?!), but why is selling a house like having a baby in that so many people want to tell you horror stories of either their own or their friends’ experiences? Thank you for giving me YET ANOTHER REASON TO WORRY.
  

Long ago I emotionally detached myself from the house and am more than ready to move on, despite the fact that it’s full of milestones for us: The first place we ever lived together, our first address as a married couple, the location of our "taco" vs. "burrito" fight, and where we had both of our bouncing baby boys. The truth of the matter is, it's a good house; a solid house (so well-built), but we've outgrown the space and we're ready for a change of scenery and a new beginning in a new neighborhood.


We just only started looking at homes in our price range of $2 million (ha ha haaa I’m so funny!) and it is pure insanity in the market right now, with homes in the affordable price range being snapped up in a matter of HOURS and bidding wars pushing home prices up to $10k (or more!) above what they’re actually worth. If you find a home and you like it, ya gotta act lightening fast, then hope that other people aren't ALSO putting in offers. And I find it really, really, really weird that not only are we moving this spring, but my MIL is moving in with my BIL and his fiancé, who moved to a house on 6 acres last weekend; my younger brother and his pregnant girlfriend are moving from an apartment to a house in a few weeks; my good friend Alex moved into her own apartment two weeks ago (freedom! Independence! New chapters!), and my good friend Jeremy is moving in with his girlfriend May 1. Who else wants to join our Moving Club?!?!


In order to celebrate another trip around the sun (gosh, I am OLD), a group of us went snowtubing at the usual spot, where I've been going since my 26th birthday. I decided this will be the last year of a fun annual tradition (it’s just too much work coordinating … I’m not going to say we won’t ever go again, but the occasion won't be in celebration of my birthday). By the end of our session, both boys had mastered the tow rope. Especially Ben. After riding up the hill on Aaron’s back for the first part of our session, we thought we’d let him try it on his own towards the end and WOAH. He figured it out right away (he has more upper body strength than I realized) and once he did, he was totally fearless. He didn’t even wait for us at the top or bottom of the hill, just kept getting in line and going down solo, over and over and over again (there were hardly any people there or I wouldn’t have been comfortable letting him do this. I could always see where he was, and we had a lot of friends/family in our group keeping an eye on him, too). Who was that independent little 5-year-old?!

On another cold but not snowy weekend, Aaron and I had a date night at the Beer Dabbler on the State Fair fairgrounds. OUTSIDE. It was SO COLD and Aaron forgot his hat. He was freezing but he toughed it out (the beer helped). I discovered a new beer there, Shake Chocolate Porter, from Boulder Beer. I also waited in line for the Castle Cream Ale from Castle Danger. Every other sample was just a bonus. Beer. Yum. 


We had the "Last Sleepover" at my MIL’s house before she moves (my sweet and sentimental SIL April kept playing “The House that Built Me” by Miranda Lambert). Lots of memories for the siblings in that house. There's part of me that thinks, "It's just a house. You'll make beautiful new memories in another place!" but I get it. I was just as sad when my parents sold the house I grew up in. I used to drive slowly past the "old" house when I was home on break from college (did they plant new flowers? Move the old swingset? Do something different to the porch addition?), and I've had many, many dreams about that house since then. The house where you grew up becomes part of you. How could it not?

Aaron, April, and Josh at the house that "built them."
Amy
couldn't make it.
The whole family went to my brother Shawn’s annual ice fishing contest on a balmy February day, when there was so much standing water on the lake that if you slipped and fell—and it was EXTREMELY slippery thanks to the recent weather warm-up—you instantly got soaked. A lot of people didn't go because they were too nervous about unsafe ice conditions. There was still a good foot of ice, though, so I wasn't concerned. I trusted my avid fisherman dad. (We didn't drive on the lake — we took a four-wheeler out.) My brother, who organizes the event every year, was too sick to go, so my dad and SIL Trish hosted the event. About 30 people showed. I didn't fish, I just socialized. (I have more fun that way.)





We celebrated my dad and niece Eva's birthday with family at an un-named Grand Avenue restaurant and had the worst service I have EVER experienced IN MY LIFE, but the company was pretty spectacular. I'm glad we share this birthday tradition with my sister Mary's family. 




I also went out to dinner with my best high school girls at a restaurant in Forest Lake, where we mostly talked about our kids. (So much subject material with eight kids under the age of nine!)
I love that we have history together, and have been VIPs in one another's lives as we graduated from high school and college, said "I do," and years later peed on sticks (aka took pregnancy tests) and became moms. We have always been very open with one another, whether we're complaining about family or job stress or kids, and I love that we can be serious or stupid, and our mutual admiration and unconditional love only grows stronger with every year that passes by.

String sisters 2016



Once again, I worked at the company's annual Food and Wine show (but not at the wine glass table for a change! Score!) and was THRILLED to be scheduled an early shift, so I could hang out with my family for a few hours before closing time. Aaron usually stays home with the boys while I work, but he attended this year and was a total social butterfly. I *think* a good time was had by all.



A few weekends ago I organized a successful Girls’ Night Out with 11 of us, ranging in age from 29 to 45. The girls were mixed from different parts of my life: high school, college, family, old work friends, girls I met through Aaron, and then THEIR friends. We consisted of marrieds, singles, divorcees, moms, stepmoms, homeowners, renters, Republicans, Democrats, a fierce firefighter, two talented art directors/designers, a defense attorney, a writer/editor, a physical therapist, an FBI intelligence analyst, a tough-as-nails car dealer, an ad rep, a hair stylist, and a health care specialist. We started out at a really cool brewery in northeast Minneapolis and then went to a total dive bar, complete with a Guns N Roses cover band, where we ended our evening. 
No, no. I’m not being totally honest. 
Some of us ended our evening in the drive-thru of Taco Bell, just like old times.



Recently I had dinner with some writer/designer girlfriends, and was reminded how fortunate I am to have such smart, insightful, passionate, funny, honest, confident, TALENTED, and kind women in my 'circle.' At one point, Amanda, Katie and I worked together at the newspaper (along with our dear friend Emily!), then Amanda left and told me about a job opening at a certain magazine, and then—years later—told Katie about another open position at the mag, and the rest, as they say, is history. We worked with Jamie and Kirsten, lunched together, and supported one another during good times and sad. It's down to just three of us "old-timer's" working together now, but I know we'll ALL stay in touch long into the future. Our conversations are so interesting (and honest). 

  
THE BOYS 

ADAM 
Adam and Ben are in a groove at school, and it makes me feel like throwing up whenever I think about moving into a new district (especially Anxious Adam). I know now is the best time to rip off the Band-Aid, Adam will only be in third grade next year, but the thought of taking a kid who NEEDS routine out of his routine (new house, new neighborhood, new school, new friends) breaks my heart. We went through so many agonizing screaming/crying/fingers-clutched-around-my-neck mornings at preschool, and then we went through many, many nights of School Dread and mornings of I-don’t-want-to-go-to-school! protesting and crying, before graduating to anxiety-induced migraines at school and regular calls from the nurse. Adam still gets the occasional migraine, but not like before. He has a special bond with his best friend Michael, and I like that he's in with a nice crowd—especially after some incidents with a less-than-positive influence (Cameron!). He is completely comfortable with his school and the routine. That, to me, is golden. The fact that he's doing SO WELL academically is icing on the cake. He was even invited to attend an enrichment camp for “high potential students” this summer. He can push our buttons when he wants (he can be so incredibly STUBBORN), but in general, he is a good kid, a good student, a good friend. He listens, he's respectful, he asks questions, he participates, he adds to the conversation, he is so eager to please. Sometimes his competitive side gets the best of him and he tries to finish his homework too fast, then winds up with 'fixes' that could have been avoided, but he usually understands the assignment and does his homework without complaining as soon as he gets home from school. (Ben, not so much. He only has homework once a week and it's already a battle.)
Now that the snow has mostly melted, Adam is obsessed with playing basketball in the driveway. Yesterday his goal was to make 1,000 baskets. He was a Mini Man on a Mission. It took him all day, but he got there. He likes watching Disney's A.N.T. Farm and the Food Network's Cupcake Wars with Ben, and playing computer and Kindle games. If we had a gaming console, he's the kind of kid who wouldn't know how to control himself or limit his game time (and therefore, we will never own one). He loves reading jokes from his joke book, coloring intricate pictures, and playing Trivia Crack. His favorite foods are Chipotle burrito bowls—although we took a long break when the media reported so many people getting sick—and pesto noodles, spaghetti, burgers, slices of ham (no bread), Big Daddy's Pizza at school, lasagna, cheddar broccoli rice mixed with hamburger, mac and cheese, waffles, my dad's french toast, scrambled eggs, grilled pork chops, and steak. He would eat steak every night if we could afford it. His favorite dessert is a root beer float.   


BEN
During conferences, Ben’s teacher told me that he's doing really well in math (“I think he's going to be a math whiz when he's older”) *Are we sure these are my kids?!? Math was always, always, always my most challenging subject. I dreaded math class, math homework, math tests. I felt like a big dummy in high school and college. Math was the bane of my academic existence! and she told me that his reading is above where it’s expected to be, but he still has a hard time refraining from talking when she’s talking, and can occasionally be disruptive to the class. Aaron and I have talked and talked and talked to him about being respectful of the teacher when she’s trying to teach, and waiting to talk until she’s done, and did you know those words just JUMP right out of his mouth before his brain can stop them?
He can still be our grumpy old man (especially when he's tired), and when he's in a mood, it's best to just leave him alone. He says his best friends are Drew, Tatum, and Sidney, two of which are girls, but if he's ever invited to any other girls' birthday parties, his immediate reaction is "Nope. I don't wanna go. She's a girl." He's scared of the Sesame Street comforter at my parents house, yet will go down a waterslide without any fear. He's very opinionated about his clothes, and prefers wearing athletic pants and sports-team sweatshirts over anything else. He regularly asks if he can wear shorts, even in winter. He remembers the names of songs and artists and loves watching The Voice and American Idol. He's a big fan of Pharrell and Harry Connick Jr. and a total fashion critic when it comes to J Lo's wardrobe choices. He LOVES hockey and regularly wants to be Canada when he and Adam are playing floor hockey (neither one of the boys can skate ... yet). He is terrified of a stuffed deer head in my parents' basement and requests an escort whenever he needs something from the basement because "that deer ... it LOOKS AT ME." He loves to count money, whether he's selling raffle tickets for school or counting his loot, and will spend way more time than is healthy rearranging his ones and fives and counting, counting, recounting his greenbacks until I have to tell him to put his money away before he loses it, money is not a toy (my brother Nick's girlfriend Ashley joked that the only person who loves money more than Ben is Trump.) He reacts to red food dye and sugar with extreme hyperactivity, similar to how I imagine about five cups of coffee would affect an adult. Suddenly he has no volume control and just wants to GET RIGHT IN YOUR FACE! AND WON'T STOP MOVING! AND LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! WOO HOOOOO! (We're trying to limit those foods in his diet, but it can be challenging.) He can be very animated and do some hilarious impressions, but he does NOT like to be the center of attention, so there goes any hope of an acting career. He loves playing basketball with Adam, but doesn't really care if he plays on a team. He does NOT want to EVER PLAY T-BALL AGAIN (so boring!), but definitely wants to play soccer again (so fun!). Both kids just barely tolerate swimming lessons, but only because they love their teachers, otherwise they don't look forward to going. At all. Even a tiny bit. (We don't care. They'll go until they can swim on their own in water over their heads.) His favorite foods include Jimmy John's, burgers, ham sandwiches (no mustard, just mayo), hot dogs, mac and cheese, powdered donuts, pizza, and steak. His favorite dessert is sherbet or ice cream sandwiches. He'll try almost anything once. Just the other day, he told me that one of his favorite school lunches was the shrimp. The SHRIMP? I had NO IDEA he liked seafood. I really do love this stage in their lives ... I mean, every stage is gratifying and rewarding in its own way, but I do NOT miss naps, diapers, constant safety/choking hazards, and tantrums. (Truthfully, we still get those sometimes.) It's been a long winter consumed with house "stuff," so we recently surprised the boys with a trip to the Kalahari indoor waterpark in Wisconsin Dells ... even though rates were completely inflated for spring break and we should be saving every penny for future home expenses. What the hell. Everyone needs a break, amirite? This was the fourth time we've met our Green Bay friends in Wisconsin Dells (three times at the Kalahari; once at the Wilderness) and every experience is better than the last, especially now that Ben is tall enough to participate in nearly everything the "big kids" do. They walked around the house singing "I wanna go, to, the Kalahari ..." I even painted my toenails for the occasion. Yep, I go ALL OUT for vacation, baby! 
 
Are we there yet? Are we getting close? How many minutes now?


Adam - I may have found the cause of your frequent migraines!
Perfect fit.
3D game at the indoor arcade/theme park.
We played MANY games of mini golf (18 holes!)
Adam hit the jackpot and won 1,500 tickets!
Pure joy!
Ben's favorite place to be (mini golf course).
Quinn, who has three sisters, was thrilled to have his buddy Adam around.
Kenya, the Kalahari mascot. I was shocked when the boys asked for a photo.
Our motley crew.
Hot tub a la mode ... half is hot, half is cold.
We do it all for these smiles.
Sign of a good vacation.

Friday, January 8, 2016

Year in Review 2015

I keep meaning to blog, but then—after working/writing all day, picking up the kids, making dinner, doing laundry and dishes, getting the kids ready for bed, etc. etc.—I just don't feel like it. Hopefully I'll feel more inspired in the new year to write for fun. 


1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?
We took a WONDERFUL five-day (not long enough!) vacation to Mexico. So good for my sanity, relationship, and winter attitude. I shut off my cell phone and kept it off from Wednesday to Sunday, and it was BLISS.


At Hotel Marina El Cid Spa & Beach Resort, Riviera Maya, Mexico

Pretty good turnout for our celebration — nine out of 12 girls made it, flying from Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Idaho, and Illinois. (Missing Julie in Green Bay, Webs in Colorado, and Schmidty in Missouri.)

The guys, Aaron & Kevin. (Our chaperones.) HA HA

My heart. Celebrating 10 years. 

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Resolutions schmesolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you have a child?
Yes! Anna had Inga, Katie D. had Remy, Katie S. had Sawyer, Jamie had Eleanor, and Christine had Sofie. An explosion of Baby Cuteness. 

4. Did anyone close to you die?
The extended family nearly made it through the year unscathed until we got the sad phone call that Aaron's aunt Pam, who was very ill, passed away the day after her son got married out in South Carolina ... and then received the devastating news that my uncle took his life a few days after Christmas. I'm still trying to make sense of it. (Can you ever, really?) I feel terrible for my aunt, who told me "I am heartbroken and can't stop the thoughts ... how I didn't see it coming, how I wasn't able to stop it, how I will never fall asleep by his side again." Alcoholism + depression strikes again. *sigh  

5. Where did you travel?

• Riviera Maya, Mexico (just a little bit south of Cancun) 

• East Bay Suites in Grand Marais for a travel story, April.

 During our weekend in Grand Marais, we traveled to Grand Portage State Park,
near the Canadian border. We regretted not getting passports for the kids.

• Annual Fourth of July trip to Crivitz, Wis. We don't have kayaks,
so we steered the trusty (cobweb-and-spider-filled) canoe.

 

Our friends kayaking down the Peshtigo River. Adam even had his own kayak for the afternoon! We had to tow him at one point, but he did really well considering it was only his second time going solo.


Oh, what a beautiful life

Kids, kids, everywhere kids ... 

• The Gathering Place Resort in Birchwood, Wis. (annual family trip - so much fun).

My dad brought his pontoon and we tooled around Red Cedar Lake, even went by fancy-pants Stout's Island Lodge (I used to write about Stout's all the time for the magazine, the "Island of Happy Days.")

• Tent camping in Chippewa Falls, Wis. with college friends.

Come on, now. What kid doesn't LOVE a brewery tour?!

• Lanesboro (travel story), such a cute town!

Amish tour - a fascinating way of life.

Biking down the Root River State Trail, with only one small crash.

• Girls' weekend at Grand View Lodge in Nisswa. (T flew home just for us!)

• Madison, Wis. weekend with the college girls. I sat outside and watched football in 23-degree weather, when I don't even LIKE football. It was so much fun ... I'd totally do it again. (Ideally NOT in 23-degree weather.) Go Badgers!

• Winona overnight/familiarity tour/work field trip. I drank entirely way too much.
(What happens in Winona, stays in Winona?)

 Oh my gosh. I didn't realize how often we weren't at home. No wonder why I felt like I was constantly packing an overnight bag. I was so fortunate to have not one, but TWO weekends away with my girlfriends, thanks to Aaron's support and understanding. (He also had a much-deserved weekend away with the guys, visiting Steve in Michigan.)

Brewery tour

 6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
A new house!!! A better night-time routine. Regular trips to the farmers' market. To be at peace with my body. At least one time on the slopes with my new board. (We didn't go snowboarding at all last winter!)

7. What dates remain etched upon your memory, and why?

My birthday - the big 4-0! (Wait, what? I'm officially "middle-aged?!?!?!!?")  

Turning 40 isn't so bad when it gives you multiple reasons to celebrate: First with college friends in Mexico, then a big party at Brine's in Stillwater—and dancing afterwards!!—with my very favorite people in attendance (a few were understandably missing due to family obligations, sickness, or distance). The best gift of the night (of my life?) was a memory book created by my dear friend Amy, a talented designer who reached out to my favorites for a memory, story, or photo, then compiled it all into a hard copy book. I pull it out whenever I need a pick-me-up. I also celebrated with the string sisters at Tongue in Cheek on the East Side (pork belly ... mmm), followed by a girls' weekend in the fall at Grand View Lodge. I felt so loved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

String sisters (minus T).

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I stopped caring so much about what other people think of me. It was like something clicked when I hit that milestone birthday. This is who I am. Take me or leave me. I also decided to make a conscious effort to move my body more, because if not now ... then when?

I'm so lucky to be their mom.

9. What was your biggest failure of the year? 
Finding answers for Adam's anxiety and eating issues. He's getting better, but it's still a battle. Also? Planning meals in advance, and getting the kids to eat more veggies. (Who am I kidding? Getting us ALL to eat more veggies!!) I also wish I had carved out more QUALITY family time. It might be The Year of Bringing Back "No TV Tuesday."

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Thankfully, no. When you have your health, you have a lot.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A vacation.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I love that Caitlyn Jenner had the courage to finally be who she is, helping spark important discussions at dinner tables across the country. (I don't know if her behavior "merits celebration," but I think she gave a lot of people hope.)

13. Whose behavior made you depressed and appalled?
Josh Duggar, terrorists, those responsible for horrific mass shootings, those who can't see that there are two sides to every story (I support the police!!), and gun control wackjobs. (We need to do SOMETHING.)

14. Where did most of your money go?
Healthy food. Why does it cost so much MORE to eat better?!?!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I know I sound like a broken record, but MEXICO! I had never been to a tropical destination in winter before. It was surreal to leave Minneapolis in a snowstorm and walk out of the airport in Cancun to green grass and palm trees.    

16. What song will always remind you of 2015?
Skrillex and Diplo with Justin Bieber "Where are ü now?"
I also think of the Foo Fighters and Avett Brothers, since we saw them both in concert. (sooooo good!)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

a.) Same b.) Slightly thinner and more toned c.) A little richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? 
Been more organized and proactive. I'm always such a procrastinator!  

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Spent less time on FB. "I wish I knew how to quit you!"

20. How did you spend Christmas?
We had the annual marketing department cookie exchange at my boss's house in Ham Lake at the beginning of December; celebrated with my mom's side on December 20; Aaron and I hosted in Forest Lake on Christmas Eve (he made prime rib & cheesy potatoes); on Christmas Day the kiddos opened gifts from Santa before heading to Coon Rapids (the girls bought matching flannel PJs for the last Christmas in the house before my MIL moves in with Josh and Becky this spring); and celebrated Christmas with Aaron's side on December 27 down in Austin, Minn. His grandma is 81 and AMAZES me with her independence, clarity of thinking, physical capabilities, and positive outlook on life. 

 

My cousin Sara and her daughter Lily were in town from Cali.

Apparently the Kardashians did something similar for Kim's baby shower. We're so trendy.

Thank you, Santa, for our jerseys.

 

21. What was your favorite TV show?
American Idol
(I don't watch much TV).

22. What was the best book you read?
Ordinary Grace
, by William Kent Krueger 

23. What was the best movie you saw?
Inside Out
(only by default, I think it was the only movie we saw in a theater last year!) 

24. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
If you can't figure out the answer to this, you haven't been paying attention.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
Could be better, could be worse.

26. Who was the best new person/new people you met?
I really like all of the new additions to book club. We have some AMAZINGLY inappropriate conversations. 

27. What do you look forward to in 2016?Jay & Pete's wedding this summer (it's been so long since there's been a family wedding), more good times with friends and family, and FINGERS CROSSED - a NEW HOUSE! (We're putting our house on the market this spring - working hard to get it in top selling shape.)

28. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015:

“There comes a time in life, when you walk away from the drama and the people who create it. 

Surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good.

Love the people who treat you right. Life is too short to be anything but happy.

Falling down is part of life, getting back up is living.” 

- Louise L. Hay 

 

All in all, it was a pretty good year.