Adios and vaya con dios

I stole the title of this post from one of my favorite Zac Brown Band songs, "Toes." It means "Goodbye and go with God." The rest of the song is very fitting for what I'll be doing soon ... putting my toes in the water, ass in the sand, not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand LIFE IS GOOD TODAY. Riviera Maya, Mexico, here we come!

I've never been on a warm-weather vacation in the winter. Ever. I've been to warm-weather destinations in spring (Daytona Beach, Florida on one spring break and South Padre Island, Texas on another), and summer (Disney World when I was in high school), and fall (California and Vegas for two friends' bachelorette parties), but never in the dead of winter, when the lack of sunshine and single-digit temps slowly start sucking your soul dry and you so miss seeing COLOR (other than dirty shades of grey and white) and you have to keep track of piles of jackets and hats and gloves and scarves at every basketball game, every restaurant outing, every trip to the mall, every school activity. (It's a small miracle every time you successfully keep track of it all.) To say I'm looking forward to this trip would be an understatement. I am OVER THE MOON EXCITED. As research shows, the anticipation of a trip is nearly as much fun as the trip itself. I truly believe that. I've been doing my 5 a.m. workout five to six days a week since Thanksgiving, I got a mani/pedi this weekend, and I used a gift card to get a spray tan yesterday. (And boy did it work. I walked into a meeting and became the center of attention for a good five minutes. "How long did it take? Where did you go? Were you naked? How did they get it so even? When can you take a shower? Did you have to wear goggles? How long will it last?") 
Answers: About an hour, from check-in to check-out. Ivy Spa. NO!! I wore an old suit. The technician was a perfectionist. The next day. No, just closed my eyes tight. If properly cared for, anywhere from 7-10 days. 

Soon I'll get to see the sun! And the beach! And my feet! And—most importantly—I'll get to experience this vacation with Aaron (our 10-year wedding anniversary is in 2015, so this was a good excuse to celebrate early) and eight of my college girls ringing in our *cough, cough* 40th birthdays. There will be 11 of us total, nine girls, two lucky guys, traveling from Green Bay, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, and Idaho!!! (I haven't seen T in WAY TOO LONG!) 
We have a solid group of fun can't-wait-to-party-and-soak-up-the-sun girls (and two guys) going ... leaving behind devoted boyfriends, husbands, and 14 kiddos. 

The boys will be staying with my parents, who will be driving 30 miles twice a day to drop them off and pick them up from school. I don't take their generosity for granted. It is so, so, so appreciated. My parents already have their itinerary all figured out, including a trip to the MOA for unlimited rides. (They recruited Shawn & Trish to join them.)

Speaking of the boys, I love the ages they are now (4 and 7). We can play games together as a family—Crazy 8s is a popular one right now, right up there with Trouble and Hungry, Hungry Hippo—and we can talk to them and reason with them and treat them like the big boys they are.

When they're not getting on each other's nerves, they play great together (hockey in the kitchen, basketball in the living room, wrestling, every sport imaginable when we can play outside), they astound me with how much they're learning, learning, learning (pretty soon Adam will be better than me in math), they shower me with affection and attention and compliments, they make me laugh, they make me want to be a better person, better friend, better mom, they force me to slow the fuck down and see the world from their innocent point of view (when Jeremy asked Ben if he had any girl advice for him, Ben asked "What does advice mean?" when Jeremy said "Do you have any comments that could help me with girls?" Ben asked "What's a comment?" I finally said "What would you tell Jeremy if he wanted a girl to like him?" to which Ben answered "Kiss her." There you have it, solid dating advice from a four-year-old. Just kiss her, Jeremy.) *Either Ben misunderstood the question or will be realizing very quickly that you can't go around kissing girls to get them to like you. 

Maybe, more than anything else, they remind me that the only constant in life is change, so if ya wanna hold onto a happy moment, you better hold on tight because before we know it, that moment will be a memory. And before we know it, Adam will be in second grade and Ben will be in kindergarten, and time won't stop for anyone.

Adam is playing basketball for the first time, and for a kid who naturally loves sports (a mini Aaron), I didn't realize that he could SUPER love a sport so deeply. When he gets out on the court, he lights up. I imagine it's the same way I feel—energized, happy, in my element—when I'm in certain social situations, surrounded by my favorite people. I enjoyed watching him play t-ball and soccer (not so much karate), and saw him improve by leaps and bounds in swimming lessons, but basketball is different. They don't keep score (yet), they don't call fouls (yet) or run plays (yet), but you can tell already who the kids are who "get" it and who don't. I hate to sound like I'm bragging, because no one wants to hear THAT, but Adam "gets" it. After the last game, three different parents—from the other team—made a point of coming up to him and telling him good job. He's the smallest little white kid out there, but he can hustle, he plays great defense, and he understands the game. (Some of the kids need to be reminded to dribble the ball, or pass the ball, or WHOOPS! YOUR BASKET IS THE OTHER ONE!!) He's one of three kids on his team who can make a basket, and whenever that happens, we're ALL on Cloud Nine. 

Ben likes playing basketball in the preschool gym when I pick the kids up every night, he's just too young to play on a team. Right now he's totally over his Batman obsession and is completely enthralled with the Timberwolves and Ricky Rubio. He got a Rubio jersey for Christmas and he would wear that shirt every.single.day if we let him. He would sleep in it, bathe in it, sweat in it, eat in it, play in it, repeat. We make him wear a long-sleeved shirt over it (because, you know, WINTER), and without fail he will shed that long-sleeved shirt and wind up wearing a tank top by the end of the day. I believe he thinks he's a professional basketball player when he's wearing it.

Another Ben obsession is his Kindle. Adam is pretty good about regulating his play time, but Ben needs to be constantly reminded when he's played enough. For exactly that reason, I don't ever want a Wii. I know that not all video games are bad, some are educational, some encourage physical activity, yadda, yadda, yadda, but after a certain time the kids become little zombies who only talk when they're yelling at their screens. "What the heck?!" "That isn't fair!" "I PUSHED THAT BUTTON! THIS ISN'T WORKING!" (Adam at least can read the prompts on his screen. Ben just keeps swiping until he somehow gets to where he wants to go—or gets stuck and gets all whiny.) And once they start yelling at their Kindles, it's time to put them away and do something else. 

Another Adam and Ben "favorite" is air hockey. They will play whenever/wherever they can. Sometimes Ben tries to cheat, though, by moving the puck with his hands.
  
I recently brought Ben in for his preschool screening and he passed everything but  skipping. He flat-out refused to skip. "Would you like to skip with Mom?" the woman asked in an encouraging way. 
"No. I don't want to skip," Ben said bashfully. 
"You know how to skip, I've seen you skip," I said to him. "Just do it real quick." 
"No. I don't wanna," Ben said quietly. 
"He already passed. You don't need to push it unless you want a perfect score," the woman said. "Some parents want the perfect score; other seasoned parents don't care as much."
I must be a seasoned parent, because I definitely didn't care about the score (there are people who care what the points are? I always thought it was a pass/fail thing) and I didn't want to stress everyone out by forcing the kid to skip when I knew he could skip and he—for whatever reason—was clearly not feelin' it. (Why couldn't they have him dribble a ball instead?!) 
Anyhow, at his screening I ran into a former newspaper coworker who left the field of journalism to become a nurse. I actually went to Breezy Point with her and her husband back when I was dating JJ—another lifetime—and since that time she quit the paper, went to work in radio, returned to college for another four years, popped out four kids, changed jobs a few times, and moved twice. She wants to get together for coffee some time, but I feel like we're good now for another 12 years. 

This month I celebrated girls' Christmas with my "besties" and the kids at Meg's house (we used to exchange gifts with one another, now we have the kids draw names and exchange instead - so much fun to see them all together), celebrated my mom's birthday twice—at lunch at Washington Square in WBL and again at my sister Mary's house (when we played Suspend & went sledding), had a Haute Dish happy hour/dinner with Alex, Kelly, and J, went swimming at Nick & Ashley's apartment, took a Tabata class, went to three basketball  games (Adam) and our friend's son's outdoor hockey game (brrrr!), and tried not to lose too much sleep over getting everything done before I leave on vacation. (The LAST thing anyone should have to do when they're on vacation is worry about loose ends at work!)
Wait! Have I mentioned how excited I am?!?! ;) 
 

 "Home is wherever I'm with you ..."

New Year's Eve tradition - steak, ribs, mashed potatoes, games, WINE, BEER!

Ricky Rubio and Adam

 

Spending Adam's "suppoachlay" gift card from Auntie Trish & Uncle Shawny

 

The kids love these shopping carts but they're a bitch to maneuver.

 

I forgot to pack spare pants for Ben, so school put him in these baggy sweats. (He thought they were cool.)

Hopefully, the next time I write, I'll be able to recap my ADVENTURES IN MEXICO!

Adios!

Year in Review 2014

Last year I interviewed Adam and Aaron for my "Year in Review." This year, I interviewed my mom during the holiday break. We sat by my parents' fireplace and completed this together.  

 1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?
Marvel: Went to Chicago, hosted a nice dinner for my retired work friends 
Chrissy: Edited a travel guide, went to Chicago with my family for a travel story (and stayed within ONE PENNY of my budget!), sat underneath a waterfall, tailgated before a Vikings game. (The crazy fans ... just wow.)

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Marvel: I didn't make any.

Chrissy: Yes! In November, I bought the "21 Day Fix" workout DVDs, thanks to my sister-in-law's recommendation, and I've been getting up at 5 a.m. every morning to do a workout. It's a little cardio and A LOT of strength training and I really, really like it (the variety, the intensity, the 60-second intervals with short breaks inbetween). Now that I'm getting older, I want to be strong and healthy rather than a certain number on the scale. 

3. Did anyone close to you have a child? 
Marvel: No

Chrissy: Kyle and Rachel had baby Frank

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Marvel: No
Chrissy: My friend Kylie's best friend Jen—an acquaintance—died at age 34. I think about her and her situation on a regular basis. She touched a lot of lives in the (short) time she was here. It still seems surreal.

5. Where did you travel?

Chrissy: We met our good friends from Green Bay in Wisconsin Dells this spring (it's tradition now), and this summer we went to Crivitz, Wis. (Fourth of July) and then Lake Namekagon with my immediate family. This fall, we went to Chicago (road trip!) and Larsmont Cottages on Lake Superior. Our Larsmont trip was the first trip we've taken with JUST our family of four. It was so much fun.  
Marvel: I went to San Diego with three of my cousins. We went whale watching, shopping, and laughed about any and everything. I also went to Chicago and Lake Namekagon (near Hayward, Wis.) with family.

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
Marvel: I want to volunteer at the food shelf and find a church we like.
Chrissy: Less screen time, more quality family time. More planned-ahead (healthy) dinners. Better budgeting.

7. What dates remain etched upon your memory and why?
Nothing beyond the usual family birthdays and holidays

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Marvel: I bought some giant-sized lilies at the zoo and it was a major accomplishment getting them to grow.
Chrissy: Figuring out a work/life balance. I think this will get more and more complicated when the boys' sports require more of a time commitment. We've been able to keep it limited so far (Saturday morning swimming lessons in winter/spring, t-ball once a week in summer, Saturday morning soccer), but now that Adam is getting older, he actually has practices AND games ... and I'm sure Ben will, too.  

9. What was your biggest failure of the year?

Marvel: ?? 
Chrissy: I wanted to volunteer somewhere, and never did. I think that every year.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Thankfully, no. When you have your health, you have a lot.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Marvel: I bought a coffee table from Vintage Junkie. We also bought a bigger pontoon for our boat so it can support more weight. And new carpet in the sunroom, a new door, and new windows!
Chrissy: 2010 Honda CRV (no more spontaneous Saturn Vue breakdowns!!!) and my iPhone. (How did I survive without one before?!) ha ha! 

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Marvel: The doctors caring for those with Ebola

Chrissy: Anyone who did good for others without seeking recognition. "The true test of a person's character is what he or she does when no one is watching." 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Marvel: ISIS/terrorists

Chrissy: Ferguson rioters/looters. If nothing else, what happened in Ferguson sparked conversations about peaceful protests, race equality, and the men and women who put their lives on the line every day. It's easy to only see the side of the story you want to see, rather than examining the issue from BOTH sides.      
  

14. Where did most of your money go?

Marvel: Insurance
Chrissy: The usual: Mortgage, groceries, bills, preschool (so expensive, but so worth it!)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Marvel: Buying gifts and celebrating with everyone at Christmas
Chrissy: Every time we traveled somewhere!
 
16. What song will always remind you of 2014?
Marvel: “Let it go" (Frozen)
Chrissy: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea, "Happy" by Pharell (Ben loves this song), "Bangarang" (reminds me of seeing Doomtree at the State Fair), "Cruise" by Florida Georgia Line & Nelly (reminds me of the boys BELTING this out from the back seat, pretty much any time they heard it), "Waves" by Mr. Probz, "Rather Be" by Clean Bandit

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Marvel: a.) Happier b.) Fatter c.) Poorer  
Chrissy: a.) Same b.) Slightly thinner and more toned c.) A little richer 

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Marvel: More walking, volunteered somewhere
Chrissy: More freelance, more healthy meals

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Marvel: Less eating
Chrissy: Spent less time on FB when I should have been giving the boys my undivided attention.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Marvel: We went to our oldest son's house in Montrose for Christmas Eve with the immediate family and had a great Italian dinner; on Christmas Day Bob, my sister Karen and I saw Unbroken, and on December 27 we hosted Christmas with my side of the family ... 25 people.
Chrissy: We celebrated with friends and family throughout the month of December.

21. What was your favorite TV show?

Marvel: Call the Midwife, American Idol 
Chrissy: I don't watch much TV ... I'd say the usual, The Big Bang Theory, Parks & Rec, or Modern Family. (I did watch the first few episodes of Fargo, but it was a little too gory/violent for me.)

22. What was the best book you read?

Marvel: The Storyteller
Chrissy: Me Before You or Wonder 

23. What was the best movie you saw?

Marvel: Fury 
Chrissy: Boyhood (SO GOOD!!!)

24. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Marvel: I turned 63. We celebrated with family at Mary and Ben's house.  
Chrissy: I turned 39. A group of friends and family went snowtubing at Green Acres in Lake Elmo and then a few of us had dinner & drinks at Pinz in Oakdale. I celebrated with my "string sisters" on a separate weekend at Ward 6 on the East Side. (I made them come to MY neck of the woods!)

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?

Marvel: Jeans and sweaters ... just finding clothes that fit and look decent.

Chrissy: Does this change from year to year? Still not super trendy but (hopefully) not outdated!!! My young, hip coworkers keep me (somewhat) current. :)

26. Who did you miss last year?  
Marvel: My dad.
Chrissy: I miss Tonya. A lot. I miss my cousin Sara, esp. during holidays (gotta give props to Facetime, though, for keeping us "connected"!) I miss my grandma and Aaron's grandpa Lowell. 

27. Who was the best new person/new people you met?

Marvel: The nurses who take such good care of my 86-year-old mom. 
Chrissy: My book club friends!! I love that I get to see old friends (Julie, Alex, and Kelly) and new friends on a monthly basis. Throughout 2014, I was able to see all of my friends on a regular basis, at dinners, barbeques, our annual camping trip, the annual ice fishing contest, birthday celebrations, concerts, and playdates. 

28. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014:

Marvel: Be tolerant.
Chrissy: "Being kind is more important than being right."  

Perspective

 

I have so many feelings and so much to say and yet the thought of capturing it all on here feels very overwhelming.

My first thought is why are so many bad things happening to such good people? Is it because we’re getting older so we’re more aware of it? Or is there some weird shift in the universe? Whatever it is, I hate it. I hate that my friend’s best friend is fighting for her life right now with a rare blood disorder and subsequent kidney failure—a bubbly 30-something who, to me, has always epitomized “full of life and full of joy.” She wasn’t feeling well around Halloween, and now—less than two months later—she’s in the ICU, on dialysis, in stable but critical condition, waiting for a kidney transplant.

Aaron’s aunt, who is only 53, is also really ill. On Thanksgiving we got a call that she was in the ICU at Mayo. Apparently she got an infection that sent her lupus diagnosis into overdrive. She was in a medically induced coma for a few days and is just now awake (but still incoherent). I don’t know if the infection—which had spread to her brain—has affected her cognitive abilities. She’s a gifted pianist and a really sweet person (even though we’ve had our political differences) and devoted mother of five. She celebrated her 30^th wedding anniversary in the hospital, on one of the days they didn’t know if she’d pull through. Aaron’s uncle, who is normally a calm, quiet man, was a mess.  At one point, when a bunch of medical personnel went racing into her room (leaving him outside) he thought he had lost her. She's still at Mayo, no longer fighting for her life, but still incredibly sick.

My boss/friend's mom died unexpectedly a few weeks ago. Her mom had been visiting family down south, fell asleep, and never woke up. They suspect she had a heart attack. "I never thought I'd be planning my mom's funeral in 2014," Sara said. "I thought she'd be around for at least another 20 years." Sara is only 38 and has experienced the heartbreak of losing both parents and a beloved mother-in-law, and her father-in-law is fighting his own battle with cancer. 

And then there are the stories in the news … young people courageously battling brain cancer, teenagers dying of flu-like symptoms, bullying-related suicide. Sometimes it's enough to make your heart feel like it's going to shatter. And you look at your OWN family and your mind plays out morbid worst-case scenarios and you can't even process the horror. You wonder how people pick up the pieces and move on. How can you NOT be changed after going through such an intense loss?  

I guess the bright side (I always, always, always try to find a bright side and I hope I never lose this part of my personality) is that it puts EVERYTHING in perspective and makes you hug your loved ones a little bit harder. That thing you were worried about at breakfast? Probably not that big a deal. We're breathing, we're healthy, we're here together. And instead of giving in to road rage or glares or exasperated sighs when a stranger does something rude or inconsiderate or selfish, try to give them the benefit of the doubt. You never know what they're going through behind closed doors. "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting their own battle."

The Many Faces of Halloween

There is what seems like a blizzard going on outside, and it's only November 10. It's the first significant snowfall of the year and the National Weather Service has declared a winter storm warning. There are school closings. Meteorologists are predicting anywhere from 12 to 18 inches. 

I can't even.

I waited 30 minutes in the blowing snow and cold (all buses were running late), cursing myself for not wearing my warm winter coat, but thankful I had thought to wear my hat and scarf, and a coat with a hood, then sat on the bus from 8:10 to 9:30. Usually I'm a half-glass-full kind of girl, but I don't feel cheerful/optimistic about this. It's NOVEMBER 10. Can't we have another month free of snow before winter "officially" starts? It makes for a very long, very drawn-out season. 

The kids, however, thought it was great.

It almost seems weird to be writing about Halloween when I can hear ice pellets outside the window and see snow blowing all around, but really, Halloween was only 10 days ago. So here goes. 

Halloween was on a Friday this year, and despite the freezing weather (weird that I'd be mentioning the weather twice in one post, isn't it? It's what we do in Minnesota, dontch'a know?!), and despite Adam not feeling well during the "getting-ready" phase (due to the usual battle of not eating lunch - another post for another day), this Halloween will forever go down as the Year Both Kids Finally "Got" It. 

It's a big deal (to me, anyhow), considering the fact that we've been taking one or both of the kids trick-or-treating for five years now without much fanfare. 

I was getting worried that my love-of-Halloween gene was going to skip a generation, or my kids wouldn't understand the fun in getting dressed up (not an option), or maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't see the point in getting candy from strangers. Which, come to think of it, is what we tell them NOT to do every other day of the year.

And if your kid doesn't care about dressing up and/or getting candy, then what's the point in trick-or-treating? 

All of the galaxies must've aligned this year, though, because Adam was excited about being a kid zombie (face paint! In first grade! YES!!!) and Ben was excited about being Mario instead of Batman (and then he wanted to be Bob the Builder, and then he wanted to be a Power Ranger ...) and I have to tell you, it PAINED me to purchase a costume for him that I knew I could make, but it seemed impossible to find a pair of overalls in his size, and just the right red hat, and so I gave in and spent $30 at Target. And he insisted on carrying his costume around the store—he was so excited!—and wore it to daycare ("Everyone said I was a perfect Mario!") and again on Halloween, and he loved it, and that's really all that matters. 
Anyhow, when we were all bundled up with winter coats under costumes, Aaron had perfected Adam's facepaint and "zombiefied" his outfit, my dad had found his flashlights, my brother and I had decided very last minute to dress like we were in the Army, I had made my hot cocoa and Bailey's, Aaron and Trish had their big cans of Coors Lite, and Adam started feeling better, he and Ben got INTO it. It was music to my ears hearing those happy choruses of "trick-or-treat!" (and "thank you") ... right up until the last stretch of houses, over an hour later, when Ben said he couldn't feel his feet—they were SO FROZEN (Oh, Ben, see all those little Elsas out there?! Just "let it go!" wink, wink)—and Adam dramatically announced that he was so tired he just couldn't.walk.another.step.no.seriously.he.couldn't.walk.anymore. (Thankfully we had a wagon.)

I've been excited about introducing my offspring to the joys of Halloween since I first accepted the mind-blowing fact that I was going to be a mom.

Adam wore his first costume when he was only 11 weeks old. I showed him off to friends and family and that was about the extent of it. I mean, he was 11 weeks old, I wasn't going to take him trick-or-treating. That would be ridiculous. But MY GOD, little baby costumes are the CUTEST, aren't they? Especially when you can get an expression like this one? "Egads! What on earth is going on?! This is horrifying! Why am I dressed this way and who is this imposter beside me?!?!"

The next year, my daycare provider Mary offered to loan us an adorable lion costume she had originally sewn for her grandson Sam, who wore it at 8 months. It fit Adam perfectly at 14 months. It even had a long lion's tail! We went to a friend’s Halloween party prior to Halloween, a party just for the kids. That was a first. It was so much fun—especially with so many of us having little ones around the same age—we were hoping to make it an annual tradition. Lo and behold, that friend moved out of state (and eventually back again) and the tradition never caught on. 

When Adam was two, we once again borrowed a costume from Mary. This time, he was a Dalmatian. How perfect! My family used to have a Dalmatian (RIP Lucky, you crazy, loveable, hyper-spaz of a dog). This was also the first year we decided to bring the little guy trick-or-treating, and it was kind of a no-brainer to go to my parents’ neighborhood. There was a small part of me that felt guilty for abandoning our 'hood, but since we don’t feel close to our neighbors, beyond the occasional wave-when-you-see-one-another/make-polite-small-talk-when-you-both-happen-to-be-outside, and my parents are part of an association, and therefore friends with their neighbors, AND they wanted to see Adam in his costume, it just made sense.

My dad bought a few bails of hay for us to sit on, attached a flatbed behind his four-wheeler, and pulled me, Aaron, Adam, and my niece April, who was along just for the heck of it. My mom stayed back and passed out candy to the neighbor kids. We didn't last too long, and that was ok. Baby steps.

  

Sweet puppy!

By the time Adam was three, he had a fairly new baby brother to accompany him. I don't remember much about that Halloween, other than the fact that Adam was a very warmly dressed duck (I bought the costume at a second-hand shop), Ben was a pumpkin (also purchased second-hand), we were on foot while trick-or-treating and Ben was heavy to carry around, mainly because he was a whopping 22 pounds at four months. I think we went to 10 houses. I assumed this would be the last year to dress both boys as I wanted to dress them, and I was right. 

Daycare Halloween party

Oh! And that was the year that I brought Ben to our friends' annual Halloween party. We were pretty sneaky about it, since it was adults only. Most of the guests didn't realize there was even a baby in the house. He slept upstairs in the pack-n-play while the party was going on in the basement, I went upstairs to feed him occasionally, and probably around midnight, he woke up and I brought him downstairs to meet the few party-goers who were still around/still awake. And then THIS happened!! Cabbage Patch Ben! 

The next fall was the first year Adam wanted to be a superhero instead of a cute animal. I knew it was only a matter of time before the superheroes barged into our lives, but I was still sad about it. Thankfully I had Ben to fulfill the "cute animal" factor. He wore the Dalmatian costume that Adam had worn. (Thanks again to Mary!) 

I made this scary alien guy and put him in my parents front yard. Adam thought he was funny.

Take this dumb thing off me!

In 2012, Adam was a storm trooper and Ben was Batman. Batman, Batman, Batman. This was the year that Ben became OBSESSED with Bruce Wayne (he even wanted to change his name to Bruce). He wore that Batman costume until he wore it out. We had to replace it twice. He honestly believed he was Batman when he was wearing it. (He once wore a Batman costume to a Saints game, much to the enjoyment of the fans around us.) We brought that thing everywhere we went.

Halloween party at Grandma's - missing cousin Kayla

In 2013, Batman was proud to show off his new muscular figure (weight training and eating clean) and Harry Potter was ready to take on the wizarding world and overcome Lord Voldemort. This was the first year that my brothers, Shawn and Nick, my sister-in-law Trish, and my brother's girlfriend Ashley joined us for the Halloween festivities. My younger brother wore a Freddy Krueger costume and may have traumatized both kids. 

No, not scary AT ALL for a three and six year old, Uncle Nick. Also? My dad made those pants with fabric paint.

And now! This year!! Success! 

Can you find me!?

I've been "into" Halloween ever since I can remember. I blame my dad. (The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.)

My dad, the long underwear devil

My mom is Cleopatra, back row, between Raggedy Ann & the belly dancer - circa 1976.
My parents hosted an annual Halloween party for many, many years.

I learned, at a young age, that the very best costumes are not the generic/overpriced store-bought versions. They're home-made. They are also immediately recognizable, not offensive, and—in my opinion—require a little bit of effort. My favorite childhood costume was the year I was a ladybug. My dad made my costume out of poster boards. Sadly, I don't think we have any photos. I did find this one, though. I was supposed to be an old lady. All I really remember is my mom laughing as she made my boobs big and saggy. I was trying to look crabby, but it comes across as "tortured fourth grader/bored out of her mind." I'm wearing one of my mom's antique hats—she bought a box of them at an auction. I loved wearing them. My friend Ann was a baby. Notice that she had a pillowcase for her loot. I had a little bag.

I continued trick-or-treating until I was entirely way too old to be knocking on doors and asking for candy. I was 14 (!!). At that point, I was strictly just in it for the candy. I was on the cross-country running team and I dressed up as a cross-country runner. (Laaaaame.) In the years that followed, I gave up trick-or-treating in favor of helping my dad get our big green house "spooky" for the kids in our neighborhood. We had an old record of Halloween sounds—chains dragging, moaning, screaming, witches cackling, cats meowing—and we put a speaker in a side window and played it every year. We screwed a green lightbulb into the front porch fixture, and made a dummy out of newspapers, old clothes, and my brother's Spiderman-head piggy bank (then covered it with a mask). One year we put my mom's clothes chest in the front yard because it looked an awful lot like a kid-sized coffin, then we put my life-sized doll in it for added effect. CREEPY. I took great pride in the fact that some kids were too scared to knock on the front door.
I was overjoyed when I got to college and realized it was ok—even encouraged—to dress up on Halloween. The costumes were just a LITTLE more rated-R than I was used to (so much cleavage!!!), but it was all part of the college experience. The Halloween celebrations I remember most were the three I spent in Madison. State Street was craaaaaazy.

I was a poor college kid. This was the best I came up with. (It was the same year my roommate Webs was a bear—white sweatsuit, sock ears, painted nose and whiskers, Tonya was a geisha girl, and our friend Kay wore yellow scrubs and a beak in an attempt to be a duck, but instead wound up with the nickname of "toxic waste.")

I had a squirt gun and secretly "shot" the bitchy girls on the dance floor.

When JJ wasn't standing near me,  people thought he was Teen Wolf. I had real cookies in my basket ... a big hit with drunk college kids.

 

 Bad 70s cop and Cruella. I had a stuffed Dalmatian, too, not sure where it was for this pic.

Dominatrix!! I bought my pleather outfit at Hot Topic.

 We went to Half-Time Rec in St. Paul & SO MANY DIRTY OLD MEN WANTED ME TO WHIP THEM. I wrote "I bite" on my arm. They loved that, too. This was my only attempt at sexy.

What a FUN night. We went to Aaron's house after this. (We had just started dating.)

Ice Queen & masquerade ball attendee Katie - some bar somewhere. 
Aaron didn't want to dress up.

From dominatrix & Ice Queen to THIS. Richard Simmons and his groupie. 
Sweat to the oldies with me!

Beauty pageant winner Tonya (home from Idaho), Kay the Himalayan (drove from Green Bay), Rads as Oscar the Grouch (she WORE THAT GARBAGE CAN ALL NIGHT!) and drove from Milwaukee, yours truly, and cowgirl Jods. It meant a lot to me that some of my dear college girls were in attendance for my & Aaron's first annual garage Halloween party, 2003.

The start of our "wig swap" tradition

Old lady with baby on her back. Aaron was EPIC.

What? You didn't know Ronny liked to party?!

Tennis great John McEnroe and Annie. "The sun will come out, tomorrow ..."

Loved the costumes; hated the cheap face paint.

Fairy "ghoul" mother and Beetlejuice (I love this girl!)

Family

Alfalfa Aaron, German dude (my dad), Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife Beth (Trish)

With my brothers. My mom stayed in the house with Adam. I breastfed him looking like this. 
He was unfazed.

Aaron was Richie Tenenbaum, but most people guessed the Unabomber. My face paint was ITCHY but I kind of loved being Grinchy.

Whatch'ya gonna do when the HULK comes for you?!! 
I made my 'stache out of Adam's Barbie's hair. 

SNL sketch - Patrick Swayze and Chris Farley (my SIL's sister, Tara, made her "fat suit"), Chippendale's dancers, complete with a dance-off.
(Aaron had to have a few cocktails for that.) 

Nerds. I really channeled my inner theater geek to get into character.

La, la, la-la-la laaaa

I was a little disappointed that Rem didn't have her annual Halloween bash this year, but it all worked out, since we went on a haunted hayride instead.